OBSESSED

I am obsessed with masturbation. I wasn’t always this way but recent events have caused me to become obsessed. For starters, I am a twenty one year old woman, although most of my story happened when I was twenty. I am 5’5” and 155 lbs. so although I am a little bigger I don’t have anything sagging. My boobs, well I am not over-endowed, but there is a noticeable breasts. They would look better, and more appropriate, if I lost 10 lbs. My hair is shoulder length and I keep it in a ponytail to be out of my way. I am extremely shy and never had a man and have few friends.
I have masturbated before but not often. Usually when something prompted it. I always masturbated over woman, but I am not lesbian and hope to have a husband one day. I just couldn’t relate with men until after the following events. My prior masturbations were based mainly on two events. I high school sleepover with some of my girlfriends. All my girlfriends were wearing just large T-shirts and panties, I was the only one in shorts. I found it so arousing to see them with there shaved and tanned legs running around in those t-shirts. They would reach up in the cabinets lifting the bottom seam of their shirts to expose their panties and butt cheeks. They also sometimes sat were I could see their panties and they had such cute panties. Panties with puppies, kittens, etc., not the kind I wear, see below. Sue, not her real name, was even wearing a thong. Another set of incidents that caused me to masturbate was my one girlfriend, well actually a friend of a friend. She always wore yoga pants and when she bent over you always saw her thong. I seen this a bunch of times but never seen the same thong twice. Really, she must have hundreds of them. I found it very arousing, but I really don’t see myself ever being with another woman.
Let me talk about panties. I currently only wear bikini style and mostly solid color. I had to put my foot down with my mom for that. I should mention that for most of my life it was just lived with my mother and I, until recently which is my story. My mom would only buy me white briefs panties for most of my life. When I started high school the girls in gym class laughed at me with jokes like: “ it looks like your wearing a diaper.” When I came home that day after arguing and tears with my mom she finally gave in and let me buy bikini colored, but solid color, panties. The one day I came home with striped panties and my mom rolled her eyes but let me keep them. Sometimes I see really cute panties with frogs and stuff on them but I know my mom would not approve. When it comes to bras…..I hate them. As I said earlier, I am not overly endowed so in winter if I am wearing a sweater or sweatshirt I don’t wear one at all. Since most of my life I lived just with my mom, we often just walked around in panties and a t-shirt. Sometimes not even in the t-shirt, I guess since my mom and I are not that well endowed we were not that self-conscious about just having them out there.
Now to my story. My mom was dating a man for about 4 months and decided to let him move into our condominium while he worked out a prior divorce when I was twenty. As I said earlier most of my life was spent just my mom and I. This boyfriend was moving also with his twenty three year old son. I’ll call him Rich, because he is kind of a dick. He took little interest in me. I think he thought he was too cool for me, which maybe true. He didn’t work and spent his whole evenings out, doing whatever. I worked during the day so we ran into each other little.
About a week into them living with us was the first incident. I was walking to the bathroom for a shower across the hall from my bedroom. My mom warned my that things had to change about how we walked around our house now but I guess I just wasn’t thinking. I walked out of my room to go to the shower wearing just my panties, as I have done millions of times. All of a sudden in the hall I saw Rich. I was shocked and instantly embarrassed. He just sat there and stared at my boobs. I tried to act fast but it seemed to last forever. I quickly moved my arms to cover up my breasts. hI saw his eyes go down and looking at my panties. I quickly remembered that I was wearing one of my older pair of panties, when I put my foot down, and that they were very tight on me since I was about 15 lbs less when I bought them. I quickly ran back to my room feeling his eyes staring at my butt with these small panties that showed too much cheek and rode up my rear.
Safe within my room, I took some deep breathes and made an assessment. I was wearing a pair of old light blue panties that were very tight. Standing in the mirror, I noticed how tight these were and really showed the shape of my pussy lips; further, the light blue fabric between stretching and worn gave a good view of my pubic mound. Dejected, I turned around and saw how badly these panties rode my behind giving a very good view of my behind. Further, it also was worn and stretched you really could see my butt crack through the panties. Further still, because they were so small they didn’t even cover my whole butt crack and my crack was very visible at the top. I was so ashamed. My mom warned me and would be very upset if she heard about this. Rich gawking at me, like a piece of something, hurt me. Then the but. My nipples jumped out and I had this tingling feeling in them. I touched them but I almost jumped with how sensitive they were. I realized my panties were extremely wet. At first I thought it was sweat, and I was sweating now, but there was more going on. I instantly wanted too masturbate but every time I touched myself it was just too sensitive. The arousal calmed down and then was just the shame. I cried into my pillow, not wanting to make too much noise, absolutely embarrassed, guilt and fear.
The next incident. For the next few weeks I avoided Rich, as I was very ashamed. It was harder than I thought considering we lived different hours. I found whenever I went to the shower or back too my room he was just passing in the hall. I think he was looking for another “free show” , which I was not going to give him. Then I fractured my arm while riding my bicycle and was placed in a cast. Showers were hard with one arm cleaning and one arm sticking out the shower. My mother helped me by washing my hair in the kitchen sink. Although my mom was getting ready too take a business trip with her boyfriend leaving a weekend with just Rich and I. To my surprise, Rich was okay with washing my hair in the sink while my mom was gone. Saturday morning came and I showered the best I could with one hand. As soon as I came out of the bathroom, just t-shirt and shorts learned from prior experience, Rich was there and ready to wash my hair. At the time this was cool because I wondered if I was going too have to make him. I said “ sure I am ready”. I pulled a chair to the kitchen sink and stuck my head under. He started getting my head wet, which started to feel like a massage, then put the shampoo in my hair. His touch electrified me. He was rubbing this shampoo in my hair and I realized my butt was just tingling. I was bent over the sink, so my nipples, no bra, that was rubbing against my t-shirt was so sensitive and I think causing my vagina to let loose all kind of fluid. I started to feel Rich over me and I started to feel something against my left butt cheek. I wondered if it was his bulch and I think I came a little. He was still rubbing my head, my butt was tingling, my nipples were hard and sensitive. The thought of his bulch touching me sent me off. I quickly closed my mouth thinking about calculus to get my head right. He kept rubbing my head and more of his body was almost spooning with me. I just wanted him too stop so I could go too my room and masturbate. He finally got done and slapped me gently on the behind, which seemed too lose more fluid from me. I went quickly too my room and flung the door open, dropped the shorts and panties and laid in the bed. I only had one arm, others in a cast, I started to play with myself. I think I orgasmed, kept going and think I orgasmed again. Then I looked up…..
Rich was staring at me, full view of my vagina with my fingers in it. His penis was in his hand and he was bottomless. I felt soooooo ashamed; but, felt that earlier turn on that I felt. My nipples shot out and I felt excitement.
I was ashamed, and I was only wearing a t-shirt, I instinctively rolled to my belly too cover me up a little. I knew he was looking at my big butt and then I did something I didn’t expect. I spread my legs slightly hoping he could see my pussy lips from behind. I was hoping he would mount me from behind. Not in the rear, just like doggie-style that I saw on my friends internet. He walks by me and slapps me in the bare behind and says “naughty girl”. As soon as he touches my behind…..I am going.
He gets in front of my face with his penis out. It is super hard and looks huge and intimidating. He just starts moving the skin without moving the penis. I find this a little hot and once I get over my initial embarrassement, I continue too play with myself, hitting what I think is multiple orgasim. I can't take my eyes off his penis, the patch of hair, the testicle sack and the shape of his pelvis. I wan't to devour all that. During our masterbation he suddenly shudders and a boatload of cum shoots like a rocket out of his penis onto my face. It was incredible and not a little disgusting. Nevertheless, I found it extremely tantilizing and felt my vagina shutter. I felt some of his cum on my lip and without thinking licked it off into my mouth. It tasted like salty fish and extremely delicous. Rich is currently shaking his penis which is shrinking like a science fiction show while I am still producing another orgasm. He looks at me with what appears disdain and slaps my ass, allowing his hand to linger, and walks out of the room mumbling "fat bitch".
I must admit that at that point all sexuality drains, I quickly cover up and grab my pillow and cry. I know what Rich is like but I don't regret the incident. It brought out a new part of me that I didn't know exsisted. A part that I truly enjoyed. So now I masterbate often. Usually twice a day but sometimes more. Occasionally I masterbate twice with little time between sessions. I tend to think about men that I work with, show up at my work or men at church. Never really think of Rich other than his penis with a different head. I try to flirt with some of the guys I work with but I don't do it very well. I start to tremble and my words get mixed up. There is one guy I like but he is also shy so we just stumble around awkward sentences. I want a man one day but I honest just want him to watch me masterbate, atleast for now. I do find myself at the store looking at the thongs and lacy underwear but don't have the courage to buy it. Recently I have been looking at porn on the internet, thus finding this site, to arouse me into orgasm. I see the lady naked but imagine she is just watching my naked body in intercourse with her man. I thank all who have masterbated over this story. I realize it is probably less erotic and "long winded" than you are used to. It does make me orgasm to think that others are reading it with their penis or vagina in their grasp.