My now-wife did this to me. She sent a friend to me at the beginning of our relationship. Dear lord I love that woman.

This was 20 years ago now, about 6 months into us dating when we lived in St. Louis. She was taking a 3-month gig as a performer on a cruise liner in the Caribbean, and this friend of hers from college was swinging through town and looking for a friendly couch to crash.

This friend’s name is Brooke. I had never met Brooke, but I’d heard of her by reputation. When she had described Brooke she’d say things like “she’s the pretty one, really cool at a party, and also a huge bitch. Quick-talking, ready to argue her way out of a situation at any moments notice kind of bitch.“

I was raised a polite-passive non-confrontationalist by lovely people from the suburbs. I was afraid of Brooke coming to town and being my worst nightmare kind-of bad, but I thought ok - let’s be the good boyfriend this weekend and take in her friend. They made that plan in the summer, she got the call to go in the cruise two weeks ago and now she’s gone.

Brooke arrived Friday night about 8:30, said hi, dropped a bag off on the couch, then turned around to leave. She was meeting someone else for dinner, but it was, uh, nice to meet me. She laughed and winked at me, then left.

Brooke was IG-model hot before I knew that was a thing. The guys I was living with at the time knew her too and compared her to Christina Hendricks from Mad Men, but brunette and a bitch. To start with, Brooke’s got these huge, perfectly almond-shaped eyes, they’re perfectly predatory and prey at the same time. And she’s got a pouty, mischievous smile, kind of like Natalie Dormer. And she was thick as a hell and hot. That parting wink hit me like a fish-hook - I was entranced by her.

I actually ran after her to the street and gave her the spare set of keys. She smiled, she seemed almost gentle to me.

I had no idea what these people were talking about.

I tried to stay up for her late into the night, but eventually stopped and dozed off in my room. I left my door open, and then a comforter and a pillow on the couch next to her bag in the living room.

I woke up hearing high heels on the wood floor, and the shower running. My room was just next to the bathroom - which I kinda liked for that sound of running water when someone’s in there, so I lay back again, drowsy. Good, I thought, at least she made it back and I can say I’ve done the favor.

I woke up as someone shook my bed. The bathroom light was still on and my door wide open. Brooke crawled up the bed in a towel, smelling like her shampoo. She whispered like a purr into my ear, “Your girlfriend called me tonight. She wants me to thank you for letting me stay tonight, and to also do this.” She then sucked my ear into her mouth, ever so deliberately, wrapping her tongue around the outside, which turns me into jelly. And also hard AF. I didn’t expect this at all, we’d never had a conversation about fooling around with other people or really about being exclusive, but I was willing to believe that my gf would orchestrate this. I was hoping she had told Brooke about my earlobes, but something about the way she did it made me think we were incredibly sexually compatible. And god damn was I feeling happy about that.

Brooke opened her towel and took the sheet off me. She was already naked. I was peaked in my boxers. She felt incredibly warm as our bodies met. Her curves excited me, and I grabbed her ass and hips as our lips met. I was high on feeling naughty and very, very attracted to her, and our make out was intense. Our tongues wrapped, I began to knead my hands into her ass, she breathed lustily into my mouth and began to grind up into me.

“You’re cute. Too cute for me, but I see why she likes you.” she said, then clamped down on my neck, sucking hard.

“That’s for proof.”

I was suddenly a little scared that I was in between something, but I was way too aroused now to really want to do anything about it.

“I have an idea,” she then said. “ Let’s do it like this.” She then sat up, and swung her whole body up towards me, opening her legs up over my head and leaned forwards over my cock. She held me firm in her hands, I remember thinking that she could probably feel me throbbing as my heart was kind of pounding from the excitement.

She took me in her mouth first, her tongue firm up against my head and then slid me half way in and hummed over me. I was very aware of my breath now, and the bathroom light. Someone else was home, our third roommate Alex, whom my wife had accused of being a prude. He was awkward, and this would be weird if he walked in. Trapped by Brooke above me, I embraced her hips and began to lick right up into her.

She one up-ed me and went all the way down. I couldn’t see, but Brooke’s mouth was so wet, warm, and like liquid. I coughed and think I got out, “Oh god…” as I began to blow deep into Brooke’s throat. She barely moved even as I throbbed and shivered through.

She flipped over on top of me and mounted my left leg, then bent over and made out with me. She finished herself off and buried me in her hair as she fell over.

“Holy shit.” I said.

“Uh huh.” She hummed back.

I went to the bathroom and closed the door. My neck looked like I’d been hit by a paintball, there were a few teeth marks.

My wife does that to me, too.